Even for bosses we basically like, there are probably days when you get mad at your boss. At least a little. Even if it doesn’t last for very long. But with some bosses, it’s easier to keep that anger going. And for some people it turns all the way into hate.
One of the main reasons people will say they hate their jobs is “a bad boss.” Although, that can mean so many things. And, as the frustration mounts, the number of reasons for which you might get mad at your boss multiply.
What’s causing all this workplace anger?
Well, of course the most obvious answer is that there really are some horrible bosses. Ones who have no ability to manage even their own feelings, much less be responsible for the feelings and well-being of others.
When you manage people, you need to realize that these are real lives you’re dealing with — and act accordingly. Bosses who make it all about themselves are not good managers. In fact, they are often bullies.
Some posts to help if that’s you’re situation:
But sometimes there’s something else going on. Something that makes it easier for YOU to play an ever larger role in helping to improve your work life!
Enter our friend the blame game
When you get mad at your boss, you may be transferring your unhappiness to your boss. In essence, blaming your boss for your own misery. Not to say that they are free and clear of adding to your growing dissatisfaction. But what are you accomplishing by doing that, anyway?
And here’s the key. Just how much time do you spend doing it? Do you carry this anger around with you day in and day out? Counting and recounting all the ways your boss “done you wrong”?
And has any of this made your job any better yet? There’s a good chance you might be adding to your own misery. If you spend so much of your day focusing on bad stuff, it shifts your chances to crawl out of the misery hole.
Where blaming starts
It’s easy to see the person in power as the one to blame for our frustration. It’s what we did when we were kids. A time when most of us felt powerless at one time or another. So let’s see how our imaginary friend Joey might react to that:
“Mommy won’t let me play with Bobby just because he always gets in trouble. Stupid mommy doesn’t understand anything. Bobby only gets in trouble because his rotten little brother tattles on him. I hate mommy!”
Of course, Joey thinks he hates his mother. She controls his destiny. And when he doesn’t get what he wants, it’s easy to make her the villain. But our little friend Joey is only seven, and we know that he doesn’t really hate his mommy. Do you really hate your boss? Well, if so, does it really help?
So your boss is in the driver’s seat, and you have to go along with them. But don’t forget that your side has a steering wheel, too. If you find yourself spending endless hours recounting your boss’s faults in excruciating detail, you are throwing away precious time that could be spent on making things better for yourself.
Instead, make yourself a promise to stop wasting time on the blame game. It has no payoff other than increasing your own negative mood. And that will do nothing to improve things for yourself.
Where blaming can end up
I’m not suggesting this is you. But perhaps you know someone who fits this picture and plays the blame game to the hilt. And there are many forms of the blame game other than “Let’s blame the boss.”
There’s “Lets’ blame the job,” and “Let’s blame my coworkers,” and “Let’s blame my family.” And even “Let’s blame the leaky pen.” The dog may have eaten your homework, but in the end blame and excuses get us nowhere.
And, most importantly, they divert our precious energy and attention from the real answers. But the good news is, if you can catch yourself in the act, you can start to turn things around for yourself!
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