If your job makes you miserable, are you stuck with that feeling until you finally get up the courage to look elsewhere? What if you really don’t want to leave? Is there anything you can do now to help lower the misery index?
We spend way too much time at our job to wake up dreading each day. Yet far too many of us feel exactly that way each and every morning. No amount of gourmet coffee or warm, fresh donuts is going to fix that. Although we try.
Where does misery come from?
Here’s where you might want to get some of that coffee. I need you to hang in with me, since what you’ve been trying so far hasn’t worked. So there has to be something new that might shed greater light on your choices. And on your chances of being able to stay in this job without falling into deep depression.
I want to talk about where feelings like misery come from. Obviously, if there’s someone or something that is not treating us right, it’s natural to start to feel unhappy. And frustrated. And miserable. We certainly deserve far better than that.
But what if I can show you that you have control of at least a portion of what’s causing your misery? And therefore, you have a chance to help yourself feel more powerful about your situation. Even if there are still things you can’t control that you wish you could change.
Let’s talk a bit about hungry feelings
The interesting thing about feelings, is they come from deep inside of us. You can’t buy them in a store. We make them. And they don’t exist without us.
Another thing is that we often “feed” them. Not that there aren’t real things in our environment triggering those feelings. But we can choose to acknowledge their presence and move on, or we can continue to call them up. Going over them again and again. Asking friends and coworkers to join in.
Since they can’t exist without our help, if a feeling becomes a daily visitor, odds are we’re helping to feed it. And to make it grow stronger. The misery may be real. But how much time do we devote to its care and maintenance? And just how often are you feeding it?
Misery feeding checklist
- How much of your day is spent nursing hurts?
- Do you focus on the things people do to you?
- Are you ready to go into a rant about your stupid boss or your irksome coworkers at any moment?
- How much time do you spend thinking about getting even with people who treat you unfairly?
- Or do you simply sit back, waiting for them to get their just desserts?
- Is the most enjoyable part of your day when you and your co-workers talk about how much your jobs suck?
- And do you wonder why you don’t get the juiciest assignments or that raise that you know you deserve?
It’s big picture time
Now try this. Stop and take a look at the whole picture. How much of your day is spent on things that are wrong, rather than ways to make them right? When people spend their workdays moaning and groaning about how unfairly they’re being treated, they waste precious time focusing only on the negative.
Instead they could be doing something helpful for themselves — like focusing on the job. And how to improve their own attitude and performance. There are so many more creative ways to spend the day than bemoaning our fate at work. NOT that I’m saying we can’t do some of that. Work can be maddening. But we get more of what we feed. A good thing to remember.
So how would this help you?
Imagine taking all that energy you devote to reviewing what’s wrong. And to looking for others to reinforce those “job makes you miserable” feelings. Instead, focus that energy on actions that bring you positive attention. And a new way of being seen by others and yourself. You could turn your work experience around.
Now, I’m not saying that you can make a bad boss become great. Nor can you make a crummy office beautiful. Or annoying coworkers shine with delight. But you can improve the way you react to things. And the way you channel your energies. Though it takes some time and effort, that alone can create some powerful shifts.
You can help create positive things happening for you that never happened before. And most importantly, you’ll feel differently inside. This is the one thing you really can have power over. And it’s both free and priceless!
Some articles with tips to help