Trapped in job & feeling sad
I got a great comment from one of my readers, N.W. She was responding to another comment from Stuck and Sad who feels trapped by a job she hates and a boss who drives her crazy. A tough combo to deal with!
I thought N.W.’s words about her own situation hit the mark. So with her permission, I’m sharing her heartfelt advice to Stuck and Sad:
Dear Stuck and Sad,
I was in your shoes exactly. In addition to flitting from issue to issue and being unable to stick to an agenda, I’m sure my boss (the owner of the company) had some real psychological issues. It got so I never knew who would show up.
She could be overly nice one day, then raging and irrational the next. I was there for years, in a management position with good pay. And most of the time I felt “stuck and sad” like you.
Maternity leave shines a light!
But then, one day I had an opportunity to get out in the most positive light possible: maternity leave. I took this time to really think about myself and my life. And I decided that even if I had to tough it out for a few months, I’d quit my job and try to find something else.
I’m still looking for the right full-time job, while doing some freelance work. But I’m a much happier person than I ever was in my old, stress-inducing position. I learned from first-hand experience that money does not buy happiness.
Much better to find a way to move on if you possibly can, and get away from being “stuck and sad” all the time. Life is too short.
Now I’m not saying if you’re trapped in a job you hate, you should all run out and get pregnant. Especially the men. 🙂 But there are real words of wisdom there.
Where to start if feeling trapped
Sometimes we need a little perspective to clearly see what we want for ourselves — and that there may be other ways to get there. My basic feeling is to do whatever you can to help improve things for yourself, where you are.
So here are some posts to help with that:
Real Problem (Maybe) If Your Job Feels Wrong
How Changing Your Attitude Can Change Your Job!
Workplace Solutions: The Whole vs The Parts
How To Change Your Job Without Quitting
7 Reasons We Stay In Bad Jobs
When Emotions Take Over In the Workplace
What To Do If Your Job Makes You Miserable
Do You Feel You’re Not Appreciated at Work?
5 Questions To Ask Yourself If You Hate Your Job
How To Deal With a Bully Boss
Why It’s So Easy To Get Mad at Your Boss
What To Do If Your Boss Takes You For Granted
But what if nothing helps…
…and it’s eating at your spirit. And maybe beginning to affect your health. Then it’s probably time to think about getting out as soon as you possibly can!
⇒ How To Quit a Job (Without Hurting Yourself)
And by the way … times of change like this are a great opportunity to do some soul-searching and try not to recreate the same situation for yourself in the next job. Your crappy boss and job may wind up being the best thing that ever happened to you if it gives you the kick you need to go find something you really love!
⇒ Why Do I Always Pick the Wrong Job?
I wish you all luck finding that. And thanks D.W. for sharing your own story and advice. Don’t I have the smartest readers?
In case you’re curious, here’s the post where D.W. offered Stuck and Sad her thoughts:
My Job Sucks and Now I’m Stuck!
[Post updated in 2020]
About the author…
Ronnie Ann, founder of Work To the Wise and Work Coach Cafe, bases her real-world advice on her many years as an organizational consultant where she helped interview and hire people, added to a certificate from NYU in Career Planning & Development, as well as her many adventures as a serial job seeker.
Ronnie Ann says
Oh LL..I’m SOOO happy to read of your decision (feels good, doesn’t it?) and that my words were helpful. Sometimes making the decision that your heart truly wants you to make is the hardest part. After that, paths open up you never imagined. 🙂
I’ve learned in my non-linear life that there is always a way. You may have to shift around your idea of what you do for a living (at least for a while), but if you give your all to whatever job you land in and treat it with the same respect as a job in your field, you’ll find it may lead you places all on its own. Or at least give you a safe haven until you’re ready to make your real career move.
I’m sure it will feel good to be surrounded by family and friends -and a younger gay community that is welcoming and not fathering! 😉
Just remember it took me a few years after I returned to figure out a way to get to the kind of work I really wanted to do, but in the meantime I did my best and continued networking. hopefully you’ll get there even sooner. But if not…it will feel great just to be back home in a place you love with people who love and support you. Isn’t that the lesson Dorothy learned???
Best of luck, LL! So glad this blog could be of help. PLEASE keep us informed, OK?
“There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home.” 🙂