Hi Ronnie Ann! I recently gave notice to my employer and am trying to leave with dignity and fairness. But have found myself being subjected to unfair treatment by some of the upper management in the company.

Almost all of my co-workers have come to me privately to tell me that they could not believe how poorly I was being treated. And I have received several offers for good job references from some of the senior members in my department.

But I am truly flabbergasted by the way I am being treated because I have always gone above and beyond for this company. And I have received quite a bit of praise for both the quality of my work and the huge amounts of (unpaid) overtime I have put in.

I don’t wish to burn any bridges (especially since I don’t have a permanent position). But I’m very unhappy and wondering if I should leave before the date specified in my resignation letter. (I gave quite a bit of notice because our department is extremely shorthanded.) [Read more…]

About 20 years ago I worked for a man I used to call a living brain donor. I saw so many things he did wrong and couldn’t help focusing on them all. Including the galling fact that my obviously dumb boss managed to become a Vice President with so few smarts.

We all knew that he didn’t understand a lot of things he was in charge of. And yet he insisted on telling US how to do almost everything. Meanwhile, he spent his days working on personal projects unrelated to the job — while the rest of us carried the workload.

Trying to “fix” a dumb boss

Dumb boss or not, I figured I could fix him by showing him where he went “wrong.” And how much better we could do if he just let us take the lead on things we knew more about. Despite the fact that I was basically telling him he’s an idiot, I framed it as supportively as possible. Or thought I did.

In the meantime — and I am not proud of this — I went around telling people from other areas how dumb he is. And they agreed, listening to all my complaints and offering their sympathy. I mean he was making me and the rest of the staff crazy.

There’s also our own work smarts [Read more…]

Is kissing up to your boss really a bad thing? And who is the judge of what’s kissing up versus simply doing a good job. Kind of reminds me of high school where the best students were ridiculed for taking school seriously. Well, your job is serious. And so is creating a good relationship with your boss.

That said, we all know people who take “boss pleasing” to a whole new level. One that makes even the best of us roll our eyes. But how much of the eye-rolling is about the boss-pleaser and how much is really about the person doing the judging?

Coworker’s judgement can backfire

[Read more…]

Lately I’ve been thinking about the whole idea of communication in the workplace. While we hear a lot about the importance of open flow communication, that just isn’t the way for many bosses. And when a boss keeps secrets or is stingy with communication, much can go wrong.

All people basically want is some clue as to what’s going on that affects them — and affects those around them. And they also want to know that someone remembers they are human and have feelings. You know … good old-fashioned respect in a world that too easily minimizes the human part of us.

But the business world often turns feelings into weaknesses (“girly” stuff). And instead winds up creating workplace processes that overlook essential human-centered management techniques. Ones that would build employee loyalty and encourage above-and-beyond participation.

And one of the biggest management errors, IMHO, is using the need-to-know-basis management style. Meaning “I’ll tell you when you absolutely need to know!” But until then, don’t ask and I won’t tell.

What happens if boss keeps secrets?

[Read more…]

A reader wrote to say “Please help. My boss doesn’t understand me, and it’s making me hate my job.” Well, my first reaction was to feel really bad for this person. That’s a horrible way to have to face each day. And I certainly can relate to that feeling.

But it also got me thinking. There are plenty of horrible bosses out there, as I can attest to first-hand! And it’s pretty easy to blame them for our misery. But honestly, the burden is as much on us, as on our bosses. At least the burden of turning things around. Or at least trying.

Who can you change first?

Before you scream at me, let me explain. First of all, we are the only people we can change for sure. So that makes us a good staring point. And what we think other people know, is not always what they know.

So, if a boss doesn’t understand you, it’s to your advantage to help them know who you are. And what you can do for them. This isn’t to say that they can’t change. Maybe they can.

But it sure isn’t fun waiting for someone else to make the first move. Especially if you’re the one who wants it now. Even if a better manager would know to make the effort, you don’t win by being right. You win by taking actions to help yourself.

⇒  Job Morphing: 20 Ways You Can Improve Your Job and Career

Boss won’t even make the effort!

[Read more…]

The time you spend thinking about how much you can’t stand your boss or your supervisor or your team leader is time you’ll never get back. Hardly any of us doesn’t know the agony of working for a terrible boss who drives us nuts in one way or another. The very fact that you have to have a boss – a person in charge of YOU – is enough to annoy the best of us.

Add to that a bad manager who is also incompetent or insensitive or a perfectionist or countless other boss qualities … well, this is enough to drive anyone nuts! So I get it. You can’t stand your boss. But what can you do about it short of quitting, which is not always possible. Or the best solution.

Does complaining to coworkers help?

[Read more…]

Boss wants to “get rid of her”

A reader wrote to tell us that her boss wants to get rid of her. She feels trapped and worries that unless she leaves the job, her work days will continue to be miserable. Yet there are also things about the job she finds hard to give up.

Here’s what Sandra wrote:

Dear Ronnie Ann,

I have been in a job for 5 1/2 years. The first 4 years were great until a co-worker (who disliked me from day one) was promoted to supervisor. Getting work done and reaching decisions really don’t matter because it’ll all be wrong anyway.

I have talked to her and she told me right to my face that she was trying to get rid of me. She gave me a needs improvement standard review. The job is boring but the pay/benefits/location are great.

I have filed grievances against her, but nobody wants to step up to the plate and demote and/or fire her. She is unprofessional, dresses like a hooker to work, and talks like a 3 years old.

Oh, I also should mention it’s a state job. What can I expect from people who walk around saying I have 4 years, 2 days and one minute left to go. I’m searching for employment elsewhere while dealing with this boss. I suppose I’m a dead woman walking.

Worst of all, she is a real control freak. She tells people who to befriend and other clerical workers don’t talk to me because of it. But she rates ME bad for team work. There is no way out of this situation except to find another job or get your walking papers.

I pray that God helps me make a decision because I don’t want to be without a job in today’s economy.

~ Sandra

And here’s my response…

Hello Sandra!

When I read stories like yours, I really wish I had a magic wand that could help. Since you’ve already tried speaking to your boss, and you also say even if you do your very best you still get the evil eye, then it looks like you are the only one with a magic wand that can help you right now. Meaning you need to find a way to help yourself. I’m glad you’ve already started that by looking for another job

To anyone just beginning in a job, this is a great reminder why you should make every effort to build allies over the years. Not only in your department, but in other parts of the company — even in government jobs. And in other companies, just in case. 🙂

I had a friend in a similar situation in a government job. And when her new boss (who never even gave her a chance) decided to let her go, she went to her allies who stepped in and saved the day. But as in Sandra’s case, that may not always be enough.

What if boss wants to get rid of you?

Although I don’t know all your circumstances, from what you tell me if I were in your situation I would step up my efforts to find a new job. And since you say “I pray that God helps me make a decision”, this may be a gift from heaven after all. A boring job day in and day out eats at your spirit and your health.

But I do understand the dilemma. When there are good benefits and other things that work for you, it’s hard to leave. Maybe you can think of this as a chance (wake-up call?) to find something that you actually like. That is a huge benefit that can also do a lot for your health!

While I’m not particularly religious, I’m reminded of a wonderful joke about a woman who was trapped by a flood and prayed to God. When a boat came, she sent it away saying God would save her. Then a helicopter came, and the pilot begged her to climb up – but she said “No. God will save me. He always has.”

And she stayed firm in her faith of that and waited some more. Unfortunately, she died as the waters continued to rise and carried her away. When she got to heaven, she asked God why he didn’t save her. God said “I sent you a boat AND a helicopter!”

This may be your helicopter.

Again, this is just my opinion. Only you know your circumstances. But if it feels right to you, I would suggest making a very strong effort to find yourself a new job. That includes applying to things you see posted, but also contacting friends, past employers, and anyone you can think of. Let them know you are looking for a job that you really care about.

And don’t spend a lot of time telling folks about how awful everything is where you are. As valid as your complaints are, you’ll get further in a job hunt by being positive. Also look for places you’d like to work and send them a great cover letter and resume. (I have posts on that elsewhere on this blog.)

What to do in the meantime.

Meanwhile, hard as it may be, keep doing your best where you are. Be extra friendly to your boss and treat her as if everything is ok. That’s not about being phony. It’s about letting go of what’s not working for you and instead setting your mind and heart on your future. And a new job that is going to be so much better.

That positive energy will carry over into your day and help you when you meet people who might know of a job. These situations, especially when a boss wants to get rid of you, can stick to you even when you interview. So don’t let this boss keep your spirit from finding the helicopter waiting for you out there!

I’ve had a long lifetime of careers and have had horrible situations that moved me to find something else. Of course, I tried to make it work at first; but sometimes you just can’t. And each time, as much as I might have hated giving up the good parts — and as much as I might have cursed some of the people who made it horrible — I was always grateful that something had happened to make me look for a new job that was even better for me.

I’m really sorry that your boss wants to get rid of you, Sandra. But hoping you too will find a better job as a result, and leave this all behind.

I wish you much luck, Sandra.

~ Ronnie Ann

***

In case you’re curious, this comes from a comment in another post:

How To Handle a Bad Job Evaluation.

About the author…

Ronnie Ann, founder of Work To the Wise and Work Coach Cafe, bases her real-world advice on her many years as an organizational consultant where she helped interview and hire people, added to a certificate from NYU in Career Planning & Development, as well as her many adventures as a serial job seeker.

More posts to help:

How Changing Your Attitude Can Change Your Job!

How To Change Your Job Without Quitting

When Emotions Take Over In the Workplace

What To Do If Your Job Makes You Miserable

My Boss Has a Favorite and It’s NOT Me

Why It’s So Easy To Get Mad at Your Boss

Workplace Culture: Putting a New Perspective To Work

Do You Feel You’re Not Appreciated at Work?

Why Do I Always Pick the Wrong Job?

Took the Wrong Job? What You Can Do

Boss Won’t Let Me Transfer To a Different Department

How To Deal With a Bully Boss

My Boss Has a Favorite and It’s NOT Me

Are You Afraid To Talk To Your Boss?

My Boss Never Says Thank You

Why Are Receptionists So Undervalued (and Underpaid)?

And just in case you do need to leave

⇒   How To Quit a Job (Without Hurting Yourself)

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I ran into “Larry” the other day and pretty quickly he started telling me about how awful his job is. He’s watched the place go through several transitions, and still worries that things are not being done the way he would want them done. And worse yet, his “boss tells me what to do!” That really bugs him.

At the moment, Larry is being managed by someone almost 30 years younger than he is. He says she doesn’t know the business as well as he does and treats him like he’s stupid. She’s always checking in to see how he’s doing and actually trying to manage him, which he resents. “What could she possibly tell me?” Larry challenged, without expecting an answer.

Larry then proceeded to tell me all about the latest injury done to him. It was about an hour from the end of the work day and the beginning of a holiday break. Larry’s boss came up to him and said “I see you’re finished with your quota for the day. You can go home early.”

How can my boss do that!

[Read more…]

As a long-time Sex and the City fan, I feel compelled to post some of Carrie’s quintessential wisdom. All kidding aside, her advice applies to work in general, as well as finding the perfect boss. And so many other parts of our lives.

While I admit not every fictional celebrity has advice that will help our careers, I really like these  words of wisdom from Carrie Bradshaw! Not only does she know shoes, but she really gets one of the most basic laws of workplace survival:

“I admit it’s tempting to wish for the perfect boss, or the perfect parent or the perfect outfit, but maybe the best any of us can do is not quit, play the hand we’ve been given and accessorize the outfit we’ve got.”

Amen sister!

Why can’t I find right boss or job NOW!

[Read more…]