It’s absolutely maddening! When a noisy coworker plays music too loud, if you’re anything like me you want to scream. Except THAT would be seen as a bad thing. But their loud music is ok?
Early on in my career I worked in a bank, where my cubicle was right next to someone who loved his music. The way we were positioned, I was the only one who heard Arthur’s music. Well, besides him. And he found my annoyance amusing. Not his problem, he told me.
Ears scream as coworker plays music?
I admit, I am especially noise sensitive. And his music was constant. It was how Arthur blocked out the sounds from the rest of the office. Except his sounds became my sounds. And I could not block them out while trying to work, as hard as I tried.
When I complained to Arthur, he was totally unconcerned about how his preferences intruded on my needs. In fact, he told me he was not going to stop. And that I should use earplugs or headphones. When I suggested HE use headphones, since he was the source of the noise, he refused.
While I’d like to tell you I took it all in stride, I didn’t. He made me furious. Especially his cool, uncaring attitude. And I was pretty sure he enjoyed my reaction. So I was not ready to give in and spend my workdays encumbered by things to block MY ears.
Seething anger only gets us so far
For a while, each day became a fight for me. “Turn down your music, Arthur!” “No,” he said with an annoying smile. I did not back down. But neither did he. I know we sound like children, and I guess that’s how we acted. But I also know this takes place in offices on a daily basis.
Of course, you can simply give in and use earplugs or headphones. For many people this is probably the wisest solution. And often can keep a situation from escalating in ways you never imagined.
But I find earplugs or headphones uncomfortable for so many hours. And again, he was making the choice to create noise — so let him wear the headphones. Or at least that was the way I felt oh so many years ago.
Tips if noisy coworker plays music
- Talk to the person calmly, and reason with them. In some cases, this alone will do the trick.
- Show them more strongly how upset you are. And make it clear just how much it interferes with your ability to do your work.
- Tell your boss and ask for help. In my case, he told us to resolve it. Thanks, boss!
- Go to Human Resources. This is a form of bullying. You may get help, but not always.
- Start a counter-annoyance campaign, using music or perhaps smelly food. (Just don’t tell anyone that I suggested this, because the odds of it working are slim.)
Another possible solution
Since I was getting nowhere fast with my emotion-fueled efforts to change HIM, I looked for something else to change. Although it took a while, I eventually got my boss to move me to a different cubicle.
While I believe in standing up for yourself, sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is get away from the source of annoyance. Arthur seemed to get a kick out of annoying me — and I wasn’t the only one.
Luckily, the person who got my old space was not as easily annoyed by other people’s sounds. And I am not ashamed to tell you with a smile that his hot lunches were quite odoriferous. Poor Arthur was not amused.
Have a better idea? Feel free to add your own stories and solutions!
More articles to help
Dealing With Annoying Coworkers & Bosses
What To Do If Your Boss Takes You For Granted
What To Do If Your Job Makes You Miserable
When Emotions Take Over In the Workplace
Why It’s So Easy To Get Mad at Your Boss
What To Do If Your Boss Takes You For Granted
I have a co-worker that started a year ago. We are in the back of the building (warehouse). Our offices are separated by a thin wall. Every single day…he puts ALL of his calls on speaker phone (even the ones from his wife!). If he calls a company and is on hold for an hour, I get to hear the hold music! Every single day…he blasts his radio. It’s a portable speaker so he carries it around. It’s usually some sports podcast or rap music. I’m very quiet and his noise bothers me to the point I cannot even think. I’ve asked him to wear earbuds but he refuses. I’ve asked him to turn his radio down. Nothing works. It’s a small company and we really don’t have an HR. He’s 10 years younger than me so he’s 32 and I’m 42. I think he is plenty old enough to know he is being super rude. He just doesn’t care! Well today I found something to annoy him. Apparently he hates when I blind transfer people to him. Oh well. As long as he has zero respect for how I feel about his calls on speaker and loud music….I will continue to blind transfer people to him. I’m NOT his secretary and we are two separate departments.
Hi TS,
I actually laughed out loud. Good one!
So sorry you are dealing with such a selfish and self-absorbed co-worker. That would be maddening to me. Now I am NOT advising that you do this since I don’t want you to lose your job, but I also had visions of you stopping by often to offer advice on his calls and marriage. Maybe even posting a daily tidbit somewhere for others to see of something you overhear, since he is not shy about sharing his life. 🙂
Again, I don’t want to cause this to escalate into office warfare and I don’t want you to risk your job, but hoping the idea will amuse you. Meanwhile, my favorite earplugs is Quies (wax). Good luck!
P.S. Can’t help wondering where your boss is in all this. Also … any chance you can get moved?
Having the exact same problem. In EVERY workplace I have been, someone sees it as their right to blast loud Latino music at top volume. If I complain, I’m the evil White dude. And the other employees are all Mexican, so of course they support each other right or wrong. I’m getting pretty sick of it.
Hi Buford,
I understand how frustrating that must be. Especially when it feels like your needs are not being respected or supported. I can say from personal experience, that I have had this happen more than once — and they were all white dudes who supported each other. It’s not fair no matter who is doing it. I’m sorry you are going through this.
The best solutions come when you can find support from coworkers or management. But if that’s not possible and you can’t find a new job where this is not an issue, I found that ear plugs were my best friends. I know that isn’t ideal, but it kept me (mostly) sane. 🙂
~ Ronnie Ann
I have the same issue in my small office, which is myself and my boss. My boss feels it is his right to blast loud music and political talk radio through speakers. He has laughed at me and made condescending comments to me when I’ve asked him several times to politely turn the volume down. There is no HR and the upper management has made it clear on separate occasions regarding other things that this boss can do as he pleases apparently. It’s maddening having to work with such an inconsiderate person.
Hi SM!
That’s awful!! I really feel for you. Your boss is a bully. And the problem probably extends beyond the loud music and radio. I have a post about bully bosses, but from what you said none of that may help.
Is there any chance you can find a way to move to another department (finding an ally to network with can help) or just move on to another company? I know sometimes that isn’t possible, but in the long run, you may do yourself — and your health — a lot of good. Worst case, would ear plugs help at all?
~ Ronnie Ann
SM here.
After another friend of mine told me I’m losing years off my life with all the stress I’m putting on myself by letting this bully boss infuriate me, I realize now the only choice I have is to leave. And let me tell you, I’m trying! I just have had no luck finding other employment in the same pay range unfortunately.
I tear up once again rereading your post because it hits home so badly–Just like your coworker Arthur, my boss enjoys it that I’m upset and smiles and laughs right in my face.
It is absolutely infuriating that someone can be so bastardly mean. I am going to try earplugs, phones and clients coming be be damned. I’ll just have to concentrate to not miss them.
Hi again, SM. This may surprise you, but I teared up just reading what you wrote. It makes me so mad that someone can be so heartless and just plain mean. Bullies love to wield their power over other people.
I wish I could help with more than words, but in the meantime, maybe this will help. When the only thing stopping you from getting out of an abusive situation is the money, maybe it’s worth thinking about the money you will spend on health issues. And simply the amazing gift you can BUY yourself by accepting less for a much better situation. Better than a vacation. 🙂
Also, in the right job, even if you are earning less now (if there is any way you can make that work for you), there may be opportunity to advance and eventually earn even more. You do not have that opportunity now. Being in this kind of “captive” situation does not allow you to grow in your career or life.
It is not my place to tell you what to do. Only you know that. But I hope my words help in some way.
Good luck finding the newfound freedom that a good job and boss can bring you. ~ Ronnie Ann
Thanks Ronnie.
Your website is so helpful and so many things you write about I can relate to. I’ve started writing on Medium myself about all the issues I’m having and it is so very sad how many people can relate.
Thank you again for your kind words and this wonderful website. I’ve accepted the fact that I may have to go backward in pay once again (took a pay cut to get out of another high-school bullying type job and found myself at my current job, but that was 12 years ago). Apparently, I attract bullies and somehow find myself in toxic environments sadly. I’m following you now so I don’t miss a thing on this site. 🙂
Hi SM!
Thank you so much for your kind words and for sharing what you’re going through. You made a wise observation about the kinds of jobs you are taking. Awareness can be the beginning of change.
Just so you know, I have your original comment elsewhere, but removed some of your words that gave identifying information to protect your identity. Employers (current and future) sometimes do searches, and can find things you write online. Meanwhile, if you haven’t read this post, you might find it helpful:
Why Do I Always Pick the Wrong Job?
Oh … and it’s great that you are writing. Yes, there are many people in similar situations. Your words will help them in addition to being a good way to let your true voice be heard.
Sending you a big hug and best wishes! ~ Ronnie Ann
P.S. I just want to add that I know you are a talented writer. And that you have been doing a lot of important self-healing work. I just want to wish you much luck on your journey. May wonderful new possibilities open up as you do. 🙂