Putting the power of job change in YOUR hands
A reader writes to say that a coworker betrayed her. “He pretended to be my friend. But then he went behind my back, revealing a secret to our boss that got me in a lot of trouble.” She also says he set her up by encouraging her to take an action that he later used against her — although she didn’t find out for many weeks.
Now trust is an important part of any workplace. And when someone betrays you — especially a supposed friend — that can knock your trust level down to zero pretty quickly.
Hi Ronnie Ann. I know someone who has been at this company for umpteen years. This coworker gets away with everything! Over the years this person has arrived to work late more times than not. And the person says that they just cannot make it on time no matter what. But the boss won’t fire the person? Why can they get away with so much — but the rest of us can’t.
More than once, the company even tried changing the hours. Yet the person will still arrive late. And this person also took off three months of work when things went wrong at home. No, this person did not go out on personal leave. Instead, this person just called in sick everyday for three months.
When work slows down, this person does not have enough to do in the afternoon. And so this person just reads their paperback novel for the rest of the day. I asked, “Don’t you get in trouble?” And the response was “They like me.”
Anyone else would have been fired. Please explain how this person keeps their job? I just do not get it.
~ D
Hi D!
Wow. I can well understand how unfair that seems! While ideally I’d want to know a few more facts, I’ll do my best to give you some answers. When a boss won’t fire someone, there are probably things you don’t know that would help fill in the dots.
Let’s look at the issues you raise one by one: [Read more…]
Hi Ronnie Ann! I hope you can help me. I’m a government employee who has become really irritated at work about something that is out of my control. My coworkers break the rules all the time — and get away with it!
As for me, I’m always on time and always put in my full amount of hours. However, I have co-workers who show up at seemingly whatever times they please each morning (sometimes 9, sometimes 10:30). And they leave in the evenings before they’ve worked their full “shifts.”
But there’s no supervisor left in the office at the time to watch them. The fact that this goes on has made me lose respect for my boss, because I see that he does not enforce standard rules. And I can’t fathom how these co-workers of mine have the balls to do this!
I don’t want to stoop to their level. Plus, I simply can’t work the later hours that they do. But I constantly feel like a sucker for working 8 full hours each day.
I’d like to just ignore their comings and goings. But my office is at the end of the hallway to the exit, and I can’t help but notice it. While I’m tempted to just keep my door shut, I don’t want people to feel like they can’t come in to ask me questions that are work-related.
So my question is this: How do I not let things at work that are out of my control bother me?
Thanks,
N
Ah the blame game! It’s all around us — lately more than ever it seems. Despite far better ways to get ahead, much wasted time and energy go into playing the blame game at work.
But when we blame others for all that is wrong, we wind up dividing & isolating. And we miss the real path toward finding lasting solutions. Or securing our own work or life success!
One of the most painful things we go through as a child is being in a group that makes us feel like an outsider. Unwanted and different in some important way. And the same holds true as we grow up. Even at work. Hearing someone say “my coworkers don’t like me” breaks my heart.
We deserve to have people like us. And recognize those parts of us that are special — even if we are different in some way. In fact, that difference may arise from the very same source that also creates our unique talents.
Awkward! What if an overly friendly coworker wants to be friends with you now? How can you handle saying “no” to him or her and still work together? Or maybe you should simply give them a chance?
It’s a tough situation to be in. When you have to see someone every day, you certainly don’t want to do anything to create tension. But you also don’t want to wind up with a lifelong friend you don’t especially like just because you don’t want to hurt their feelings.
It’s absolutely maddening! When a noisy coworker plays music too loud, if you’re anything like me you want to scream. Except THAT would be seen as a bad thing. But their loud music is ok?
Early on in my career I worked in a bank, where my cubicle was right next to someone who loved his music. The way we were positioned, I was the only one who heard Arthur’s music. Well, besides him. And he found my annoyance amusing. Not his problem, he told me.