Being embarrassed by your job feels strange. You know you need the money. And you know you had a good reason when you took it. Yet here you are with a nagging feeling that you are in the wrong job. And that others will see you as failing somehow.
While there are many possible reasons for being embarrassed by your work, basically you have two general categories. Either you are judging yourself for the job you have or you worry that someone else will judge you. Well … or both.
Why are you embarrassed by job?
If you’re embarrassed by the job you have, it might help to ask yourself where the thought is coming from. Is the feeling about something central to the job itself that you need to pay attention to? For example, are you sitting at a desk all day and know that will never work for you?
Or is it about something deeper inside you — thoughts and feelings in conflict that make it hard to feel ok with your job / career choice? Maybe even something that if left “undiagnosed” could lead to a lifetime of work misery. If so, this feeling worth looking at now. You might even surprise yourself.
Take some time to look at the job objectively. What you like. What you don’t. You might find you actually like things about this “not good enough” job. Who is it that you are most concerned about pleasing? Whose standards are you trying to meet?
⇒ EXTRA: Are You Tired of Being Judged By Your Job?
Is it just about you and you alone or might it be family and friends — even strangers — and how they look at you because of what you do? Some jobs may not feel good enough, but not for reasons that will lead to eventual career happiness.
Types of personal job embarrassment
I divided job embarrassment into three types to help you look at the roots of what you’re feeling. And hopefully help you see that there might be another way. One that’s about you … and not what others think. Or even your own self-doubts.
(1) Job not one you’d ever enjoy doing — or care about.
“I’m embarrassed by my job,
but I need the money,
and it’s all I can find right now.”
(2) You like the job, but it feels “beneath you.”
“I’m embarrassed by my job,
because it’s nothing I EVER imagined
as good enough for myself.”
(3) You like the job, but worry you’re not good at it.
“I’m embarrassed by my job
because I know people think I’m not good enough
— and maybe I’m not!”
Beware image police inside head
If you hear yourself saying “I’m embarrassed by my job,” you need to ask yourself where the thought is coming from. What’s the controlling factor?
Is it job image? Or is it a real connection to the part of your spirit that can bring true joy. The two are rarely the same. But the image police in your head can confuse the two, especially early on.
Believe me … you don’t want to spend a lifetime working in a field you think is right for you, but leaves you cold inside. You want work and career culture that actually FEELS right to you.
Why are you really embarrassed?
STEP #1: If you’re feeling embarrassed by the job you have, this is a great time to figure out why.
- Is it they type of work?
- Does the type of business embarrass you?
- Is it the company policies or image?
- Do you see yourself as better than this in some way?
- Is it just a “for now” job? (Never be embarrassed by that!)
- Other reasons?
Write down everything you can think of that makes you feel embarrassed about your current job.
STEP #2: Now ask yourself if you really feel this way in your heart or is it about how others view the work and judge you?
- Is there any part of you that actually likes the job, but feels you shouldn’t?
- Are there any aspects of the job you do like?
- Or do you truly feel that this has nothing to do with who you are?
Be honest about this part. I’ve known people who leave a job behind because family or friends say it’s not good enough for them. And then later on they wish they had pursued that path in some way.
But instead, they go after something others tell them is good enough or “better” for them. As a result, they wind up building a resume of jobs they never wanted. Sadly, they often don’t realize it until many years later.
Avoiding “path not taken” regret
If you’re sure the embarrassment is a signal to move on, by all means listen to the feeling. Explore things to help you get there. Take classes. Find a support network. Try things on for size. And don’t stop until you get there.
BUT … if you’re embarrassed by your job and yet secretly like it or at least some part of it, don’t throw that away to please other people — and their ideas of what YOU need to be happy. And if you do need to get better at it, by all means shake off the embarrassment and make improvement your goal!
A path not taken could have led you to better jobs down the road that built on aspects you really do enjoy. Even if you’re embarrassed to admit it to anyone else, at least, just for now, admit it to yourself. Once you do that, you can figure out the next steps later on!
More articles to help
Workplace Culture: Putting a New Perspective To Work
What To Do If Your Job Makes You Miserable
Do You Feel You’re Not Appreciated at Work?
Approval Seeking: Who Are You Really Trying To Impress?
Real Problem (Maybe) If Your Job Feels Wrong
How Changing Your Attitude Can Change Your Job!
How To Change Your Job Without Quitting
My Boss Doesn’t Respect Me No Matter What I Do
When Emotions Take Over In the Workplace
5 Questions To Ask Yourself If You Hate Your Job
I might be everyone’s worst nightmare who’s leaving remarks on this website. I just retired from the Federal government as a part-time data entry clerk (my agency kept changing my official “titles” as they abolished my positions with the advent of more advanced software that soon made newly assigned duties obsolete). I started as a clerk typist, but they could never lay me off or fire me–one of the benefits of being a civil servant. (Private sector companies would have cast me off, along with other colleagues, early in our “careers”.) I also was 3rd string backup mailman for my 50 person regional office, but all my “duties” combined usually took up less than an hour of work time even though I was paid for eight. You might be surprised to know that I have a masters degree in statistics and tested in the top 4% of IQs on the Cattell Intelligence test, near genius level, so-called. I also was a part-time writer on my own time (penning OP-EDs, which don’t pay anything, by the way). I’m quite ashamed of myself because of how little I accomplished in my 40 working years. There’s no real way to obscure my lack of professional achievement. No way to justify to my friends and acquaintances the lowly and menial service I performed (other then recognizing the financial imperative to “get by” as Ronnie Ann might sympathetically assert). And most poignant of all, no self-respecting way to argue a point of view on politics, economics–or just about any other subject matter, really–without feeling defensive about navigating any allusions that would highlight the paucity of my “qualifications”. I”m quite the failure at age 66, for sure. And I’m not married to boot, with no kids or past relationships. I sill live with my mom, who’s 101. So I”m forced to endure the ridicule of people still deriding me that I’m too old to be living with my mommie! So if a viewer happens to think they’re in sh*t’sville, remember me. You’ll be doing yourself a big favor. LIke my favorite Demotivational calendar quote proclaims, “I’m not a total failure, at least I can serve as a bad example!”
Thank you for taking the time and effort to share this, Mark. Guessing your words will reach other people as intended. A nice thing.
Remarkably, with all you conveyed that moved me deeply, you also left me smiling with your “Demotivational calendar” quote. You definitely have writing talent. I hope you find more ways to use it. You probably have a wealth of observations and experiences that writers call “good material”. 🙂
So much of my own career (the oh-so-welcome ups as well as the painful downs) made sense years later in a light bulb moment. And led me to offering real-world career advice to (hopefully) help others — and getting a career counseling certificate to add to my understanding. I also learn from my readers.
But yes … sometimes a job is just a job. It lets us do what we truly need / want in life. Or, as you say, simply pays the bills.
Also … if I may … I just want to add that no matter what it feels like looking back in time, we are all far more than the many things we didn’t accomplish. We often minimize the good things we did, even if “only” bringing a smile to someone’s day.
Looking back can most definitely teach us. But if we spend too much time looking back, it saps the energy we could be putting into creating things we are proud of from this day going forward.
I think you still have a lot in you, Mark. Wishing you and your mother all the best!
Thank you so much for having supported people like me personally who’s exactly embarrassed by the job that I have been doing for like three years. I work in a company that doesn’t need any formal high school diploma, I get paid well, it helps me pay my bills, it helps me support my kids at home, but most of people I’m friends with, they laugh at me, sayin, what am I doing there? They make me feel like I’m a waste of life. That’s why I don’t hang out anymore with anyone that I used to be friends with. It just hurts my heart to see people laughing about my money-making that I’m literally passionate about. I’m not being dramatic, but this is so inspiring. Thank you so much. Sorry, I’m an indonesia. My english isn’t that great. But your written advice means the world to me, a lot. Feels like, you’re literally talking to me in real life. Thanks.
Oh Edward! You said it so well. Thank you for taking the time to write this and share with others. It means so much to me to read your words. People who laugh at others have something missing in themselves.
To me it sounds like you’re making good choices … and that you’re someone I’d be proud to know. Good luck following your passion, surrounding yourself with people who love you exactly as you are, and being proud of yourself … even in all the ups and downs of life!! 🙂
Greetings to you in Christ
Peace be with you and your family in Christ. My name is Nadeem Christ and I belong to Pakistan. I need a job
Please help me
I’m not wrong to person
My age 23year
I’m single
My passport ready
I belong to poor family
Please talk
My whatsapp and imo number please talk me online
I am so sorry, Nadeem. I have no way of helping you. And I had to remove your number because you could get all kinds of fake calls. Please find people locally (family, friends, old schoolmates, NGO organizations, etc.) who you can network with. You never know when someone knows someone who knows someone. For many of us, that is the way we find jobs.
Best of luck!!