As many times as I’ve heard people talk about finding a better job, it’s hard for them to make the leap. Job change is scary. And rarely easy. Most of all, actually leaving a bad job requires an important first step … the determination to do whatever it takes.
And then you need to stick with it until you actually accept an offer you feel good about. No matter how many obstacles rise up to try to stop you. And no matter how many “good” reasons you come up with to justify not leaving a bad job.
But if you are stuck in a lousy job and can’t bring yourself to leave, at least know that you’re not alone. And also know that, even if it takes time, you CAN find a way. Although you may have to be a little creative in building your eventual escape route. And learning to truly believe in yourself — and in your self worth!
NOTE: Please read through to last section. Creative solutions come in many forms. 🙂
Reasons people use for not leaving a bad job
- The pay is too good.
- Benefits are hard to equal.
- You don’t feel you can find better.
- It’s easy to let obstacles stop you.
- Even bad jobs have a comfort level.
- What if you can’t find anyone to hire you?
- What if the new job is worse?
- You don’t have enough skills. (So get some!)
- You don’t feel mentally strong enough to leave.
Why you don’t need to suck it in forever
- You deserve better and need to truly believe that.
- Your health can continue to suffer years after what amounts to daily trauma and self-minimization.
- There is always a way out even if it takes time.
- You need to truly believe you can find (and deserve) that path to better.
- If you work on your self-esteem the idea of leaving can feel more and more real.
- You can also work on anything else stopping you starting TODAY.
- Step by step you can get yourself out of the dark hole and into sunlight.
Mental health benefits of leaving a bad job
Most jobs have faults. And we can learn to live with them — and make the best of things. But a truly awful job (and boss) can tear at your spirit, bit by bit. Even the strongest of us can start to feel our strength and abilities fade into the past.
And feeling hopelessly stuck can shred whatever is left of your self-esteem. When a job damages your self esteem, it’s hard to recover on your own. Although it is of course possible.
Should you find yourself stuck and miserable, there is no shame in seeking help. Wisdom comes in many forms, including recognizing when you can use extra help. And then go find the right person (therapist, coach, mentor, support group) and begin!
But you need to be really ready for that change.
Ready to hang in no matter what until you make something good happen for yourself. And not just saying the words to feel better about your misery … as you settle once again for doing nothing.
If that sounds harsh, I’m sorry. It’s meant as a wake-up call for anyone who needs it. If you have good reasons for staying and for whatever reason leaving a bad job isn’t possible right now, then maybe you can find some help here … for now:
Or if it is really time to leave, here are some posts to help:
Just a reminder
Obstacles to change run deep. As do our defenses that keep us from real change. So the beginning of any personal change is truly believing in yourself — and that you actually deserve not to stay stuck in that pit.
Even when that sense of self has been beaten down by circumstances or feels lost completely, it is still there underneath. Ready to be revived. And ready to help you move on to better things.
And even a job that doesn’t seem “better” in money or title may be the stepping stone to reinvigorating your career — and life. Sometimes it takes an in-between step to get you where you really need to go.