Whether at work or elsewhere, some people can’t resist rushing to the finish line to end other people’s sentences. While this often can be very annoying to family and friends, it can be downright detrimental to your work relationships and career.
The most important thing about listening is that the person feels truly heard and not just understood. And that involves slowing your roll enough to give them the time to finish their thoughts. But beyond the obvious, there are more reasons this can work against you.
What’s your rush?
Listening well is a key work skill. When you end people’s sentences for them, you show lack of patience and poor “soft skills” since you can miss / overstep valuable information.
Reasons not to jump ahead & “help them”
- It’s a form of disrespect. Your needing to complete THEIR thought — and move things along at your speed — comes off as your needs being more valuable than the other person’s need to be heard.
- You may be completely wrong. Not only does that frustrate the speaker, but you leave a negative impression of yourself that lasts beyond that moment.
- Sentence enders also often wind up remembering what they concluded rather than what the speaker actually said. And carrying that forward can affect work relationships as well as work product.
- Negative impressions & feelings you create stick. Next time you’re being considered for a work team or for a special project, you may not get chosen. Even if they don’t remember this habit of yours specifically.
Never, ever end people’s sentences in interviews!
So why do people do it?
If ending people’s sentences is something you have a tendency to do, you’re not alone. But seriously … why are you in such a rush? And what about respecting the other person enough to let them finish. It’s actually a matter of control. And whether you’re willing to leave the control in other people’s hands.
True, some people take way too long to get their thoughts out. But it’s worth asking yourself why you can’t take the extra time to listen all the way. How many seconds have you actually saved? And how many seconds have you wasted if they have to correct you?
Doing this doesn’t really helped anyone — not even you. Plus there are less than favorable feelings left behind that may carry forward. Another bad habit is jumping to conclusions, and the people you do this to may form all kinds of (unfair) conclusions about you that affect how your viewed at work.
Habits are hard to break. And I’m not capable of psychoanalyzing all the reasons we do this. (Oh yes … I’ve done it too.) But a great beginning step for breaking any bad habit is awareness. Noticing that you did it — or are in the process of doing it right in the moment — can help you learn to stop, breathe, truly listen, and let them finish.
One last thought
While you’re busy formulating the words you’ll use to end their sentence, you’ve stopped listening. When dealing with a boss or co-worker, this can be a big mistake. But in an interview it can cost you an offer.
So even if you don’t think of this as something worth trying to correct, please think again — and this time maybe finish your thought with “yes it is worth it.”
More posts to help
How Changing Your Attitude Can Change Your Job!
Emotional Triggers in the Workplace
But Change Is Really Really Hard!
Emotional Boxes: Stuffing Your Feelings at Work
Permission To Believe In Yourself (with Certificate)
Are You Always Feeling Angry At Work?
When Emotions Take Over In the Workplace
Resistance to Change: Is It Really Worth All the Effort?
My Boss Says I Have an Attitude Problem
The Indefinable Power of Determination
Dealing With Annoying Coworkers & Bosses
Dealing With Workplace Drama
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