Let me be blunt. This is not the time to be embarrassed to ask for help from people you know. Or people you hardly know. Maybe even people you’ve just met … or never met. And even if you are embarrassed — a very normal feeling — time to push that aside and ask anyway.
Nowadays more and more employers turn to automated screening (now enhanced with AI). And it’s gotten incredibly hard to even get an answer from job listings that you respond to. So many people are relying on official listings that with all that competition your resume may never get seen by human eyes.
Added to that, many jobs remain unlisted. Or are still in the process of being created and only known to people in the company at the moment. And so your strongest move is to find a way that sidesteps official published listings seen by the masses — a way that gives you the job search edge.
It’s hard to ask for job search help
Now we get back to the embarrassment part. And please remember that this is absolutely normal. It’s difficult turning to family or friends or maybe even strangers. Most of us would prefer to go it alone.
But I am assuring you that this is not the time to let fear of people judging you stop you from taking steps you need to succeed. And many people actually enjoy helping. It makes them feel good not only for you but about themselves.
I know that it’s hard to feel this way … but you are simply asking them to help a company get a great candidate. It you don’t feel that way about yourself, then you need to take some time to get yourself believing it. Without believing that you are a great addition to the company, your interviews will fall flat anyway.
⇒ How To Mentally Prepare for a Job Interview
So who can you ask?
The simple answer is anyone you can think of! Networking can turn to places like LinkedIn to find connections you don’t know. (You’ll find networking tips here.) Look for people in companies or industries you’re interested in. Also a good place to find informational interviews. And remember … even if you get lots of silence or “no” answers, you only need one good lead to get going.
But it also means gathering the courage to ask family and friends. Maybe rather than making “I need a job do you know one?” your immediate approach, start by sharing what’s going on in your life — you’re in the middle of a job search. Tell it as an exciting or at least positive thing rather than a “poor me I can’t find a job” story. It will engage people more.
As I said, most people like to help. Being positive in your objective / approach makes their involvement more pleasant for them as well as for you. And as you’re telling it, throw in the idea “if you know of a job or anyone who I might speak with about a possible job, please let me know.”
Again, a “no” answer is not the end of the road. It means keep going until you get a “yes”. And some prior no answers may hear of something later. You are just planting seeds! I have found jobs through interviews I didn’t get (recommended me to friends) as well as someone I met at a barbecue — someone who I told my job search story and goals to in a way that engaged him.
Some posts to help
12 Bits of Insider Info For Beginning a Job Search
Why AI Resume Scanners Miss Out On Good Candidates
Networking Stories: Surprise Networking Connections
Permission To Believe In Yourself (with Certificate)
15 Job Search Tips To Help You Get a Job
Job Search Sucks. Can Hidden Job Market Help?
About Ronnie Ann Himmel
Ronnie Ann is a certified career coach, organizational consultant, and the founder of Work To The Wise. Since 2006, she has provided one-on-one “hand-holding” support to help job seekers overcome anxiety, rebuild their confidence, and navigate complex career transitions.
Expertise & Credentials:
NYU Certificate: Career Planning & Development
Advanced Degree: Master of Business Administration (MBA)
Real-World Experience: Decades of corporate hiring, interviewing, and serial job-seeking adventures.
Learn more about her personal approach on her About page or connect directly via LinkedIn.
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