Confessions of a Terrible Manager

I was that terrible manager. More than once. And while I admit that I did many things wrong at the time, I’m grateful to have learned a lot from the experiences. And to be able to share what I learned here on Work To the Wise and clients. Although it took a while to sink in.

In case you’re wondering why I chose the picture at the top of this post, it’s because in general being a manager wasn’t fun for me. And much of the time I was left trying to figure out what to do with my time — beyond planning and countless meetings.

I missed being the person who actually created product rather than overseeing / guiding others in that role. So I sought ways to initiate or start things I was interested in. But not always things directly part of my responsibilities nor what my boss wanted me focusing on.

So how did I wind up managing?

In most cases, although my preference is to be the worker who produces the end product, it was often a matter of my being chosen or promoted. Or simply the salary level I needed to afford my New York City apartment!

Here are some examples of jobs where I had to manage others — something some people genuinely love doing. But for me, a lesson that took me a while to learn as far as me not being one of those “some people.” And luckily also a series of lessons that eventually led me to what I do love doing — consulting and career coaching.

MBA thesis project

Though not a paid job, in my final semester I had a choice of a computerized business simulation or what to me sounded like a boring paper. So I became part of a “company” where we marketed soda, competing against other teams for top sales.

No way I wanted to be the CEO, so I happily landed in a role in production. Unfortunately our first CEO was awful and so was the next one. The team for some reason turned to me to do the job. I protested, but realized someone had to do it if we wanted to get a good grade. Thus I had my first management experience.

I hated having to deal with the team leads, each of which thought they were the most important component. Now a good manager would have put their own skills to getting the team working smoothly and helping cajole the best out of each one. And helping us join together to maximize our team’s strategy for winning.

But I had no patience for their egos. And so pretty much left them to themselves while I got our production side working smoothly. Hands-off management actually is a management style, but nothing I was consciously employing. I was just lucky that we all knew our areas well enough to get us to second place. And without my having any great management skills.

Credit department manager

My first paid managerial job. After graduating with my MBA in finance I was hired by a commercial bank and entered their Credit Training Program. Upon completion I was made manager of a major branch credit department. Not so much because of my skills, which had yet to be proven. But because I had an MBA and they were paying me more accordingly.

No mincing words … I hated that job. Booooring! And almost totally avoided any management of the former trainees who were diligently performing their work — detailed credit analyses of major companies — without me. I didn’t even complete mine before I tried to switch to the marketing department. But they hadn’t hired me for that. So I left.

Marketing finance manager

There are a couple other terrible management stories I can tell you — one I wisely withdrew from after accepting. But I’ll just leave you with this one since it is a mixed bag of sorts. A friend, knowing I was out of work and rent had to be paid, recommended me for a newly-created marketing finance job. I hoped it would be a lot more interesting. Silly me.

The company had designed a second management position, dividing one job into two. Still a bit wet behind the ears, I was naive enough not to realize the former “one job” person would resent me. And oh how he did. And I never imagined this smiling, friendly guy who welcomed me warmly would work to undermine me. Which he did.

This was a management role I actually put effort into. One of the women who I managed was great at her job and probably should have ben promoted instead of my being hired. So I gave her more responsibility, coached her where needed, and praised her accomplishments. I also helped bolster her confidence. That is what a good manager should do. And she thanked me for it many times.

Uh oh … here comes Mr. One Job!

Seems Mr. One Job began telling her she was being abused by me. And by “all the extra work” he said I should have been doing. And truth be told, I probably could have been more hands-on with the actual reporting. Still, never was she on overload (I checked) and never did she say anything to me. But bit by bit I became a terrible manager to her and to our boss.

Meanwhile, I had been successfully building up an area that was part of my job as outlined, but my boss for some reason resented me doing this. As I look back, perhaps extra meddling from Mr. One Job there also. I finally realized what was going on and that I probably wasn’t cut out to be a manager anyway and transferred to another department — a non-managerial consulting role!

What makes a manager terrible?

There is no absolute, one-size-fits-all description of terrible manager. Beyond someone who is actually abusive, like a bully boss, of course. As you saw above, even some potentially good management styles can backfire or simply not work for a particular situation. And some bad ones can work in the right situation.

But there are some things that for sure do go into being a terrible manager. Here are some you may recognize, not that every bad manager has them all … hopefully!

• Constantly causes chaos and expects staff to clean it up.
• Pits staff against each other to the point of creating a toxic workplace.
• Takes on too much work and then blames staff for not getting it done.
• Screams at staff often and sometimes for no reason.
• Creates an atmosphere of blame and fear.
• Doesn’t delegate and tries to do it all on their own.
• Micromanages even tiny details leaving employees feeling undervalued.
• Has favorites and shows it without concern for others.
• Belittles or disrespects staff as part of their management style.
• Department turns out shoddy products and/or misses key deadlines.
• Poor communication on a regular basis.
• Routinely ignores staff’s career needs and human needs.
• Leads with ego not emotional intelligence.

Oh, there’s a lot more than that. But for now you get the idea. The good news is, not all manager types listed above mean you have to quit. Some can be worked with and even, after a while, worked around just enough to stay sane. And I’ve even managed (pardon the choice of that word) to respectfully confront / point out some of those behaviors with success.

But we are all different. And not everyone can find the humor or balance in having a difficult boss. If it ever gets to the point where you feel unsafe or emotionally threatened … or even just so unhappy you can’t stand it anymore … then it’s time to start thinking about a new job.

But first, apart from threatening or illegal circumstances, it pays to at least look for solutions that you can help bring about without jumping ship:

Workplace Problems & Solutions