Change is hard. Really really hard. I am dealing with something in my own life that helps me remember how hard it is for most of you. For job seekers. For people in jobs they are just trying to survive. And for those who want their jobs to be much more than just survival, but how to they make that happen?
It’s easy for me to sit here and write articles telling you how to change. And how great change is. And that’s what the articles on Work To The Wise are about. But almost every other line should also be addressing the giant elephant in the room: change IS hard. And for many people touches upon terrifying at times!
What makes change so hard?
With all the daydreaming that goes on imagining a better job or career — or just a better life in general — you’d think that alone would be enough incentive to get us to make the next step … taking real action that gets us to the change.
But for most of us it’s not enough. Taking that next step raises all kinds of fears and doubts. And so waiting until another day to even try is a very natural thing to do. We know what we have. But we don’t know what else we might get ourselves into.
So exactly when does change start to get so hard? As soon as you start imagining all you’re going to need to do to get to the glorious daydream picture. And suddenly it feels like climbing a mountain… without the help of that elephant.
Getting yourself to someplace new is all about the unknown.
And the unknown is scary. At times just plain unimaginable. And so it is often easier to just freeze frame where you are and delay things for when any attempts at change will feel easier.
But for the majority of people the longer you delay, the less easy it will feel. And, as time passes, sometimes year after year, that dream of something better weakens. And starts to fade.
Preparing your mind for change
If the thought of change raises feelings of resistance and fear, then these are powerful walls that keep you from venturing out enough to attract new opportunities. And even keep you from seeing possibilities right in front of you.
You start to forget what good could even feel like. Or have trouble believing that even if it’s out there, YOU would be able to find it … or make it work for you.
What’s being reinforced again and again is days of unhappiness and feeling powerless. And feeling like a failure who can’t make good things happen for yourself.
Even if you don’t say that out loud, somewhere inside there’s a change-stopping belief. And that is not a belief or mindset that opens you up enough to make good change happen for yourself.
You need to decide to prepare your mind to even begin the process of trying. While for some that may come quicker than for others, we can all do it. And we can all get ourselves to something that at least creates the beginning of positive change. Even if it takes a few tries to really get there.
Change is hard but worth it
Responding to a post about bosses who don’t respect you, a reader added this short but says it all comment:
“So glad I read this article. My ex boss was a toxic control freak that ruined my mental health. I’ve moved on and found happiness. Hopefully more people read this!”
She can’t make it happen for you. But she’s telling you that it can happen. And for her it made all the difference.
I included this because I want you to really get that the only change in mindset you truly need to make is to tell yourself this:
“I can do it. I may not know how, but at least I can begin today.”
And then do it. Any small step — even researching an interest. Browse the internet for ideas. Learn new skills. Network for new contacts. Join an organization related to your interests. Try things out in your spare time.
And maybe even take on some small projects you’re good at — including hobbies — to remind yourself just how capable you are. And what good feels like!
Posts to help make change less hard
Is Job Search Fear Stopping You From Even Looking?
Put Small Steps to Work on Change!
5 Workplace Fears That Limit Your Success
Career Change Fear: How To Move Past the Fear
I Don’t Meet Job Requirements. Should I Still Try?
15 Job Search Tips To Help You Get a Job
Help! I Want to Return to My Previous Career
So Many Mistakes! How Do I Start My Career Over?
What’s Stopping You from Leaving a Bad Job?
12 Key Qualities You Should Look For In a Job
10 Two-Letter Words To Motivate Yourself
What Are Transferable Skills?
Resume Employment Gaps? How To Get That Job!
⇒ EXTRA: Want To Career Coach Yourself? How To Get You Started
For more help:
Job Search & Interview Resource Center
I guess the most honest answer to that question is “I do!” I’ve had two other work & career blogs, Work Coach Cafe and Career Nook. But they are in other people’s hands now.