Just a quickie …
It’s not just that we didn’t get something — like a job or a raise or a promotion — that drives us crazy. It’s the wanting. Wanting more. Wanting different.
Then again … wanting also motivates us. Without wanting, would we strive for new things or just accept life as it is and never look for more than we have?
Aah! To find that sweet balance of wanting more, while still peacefully accepting what is. And using that open mind state as a starting point for pursuit of the more. Without letting the “what isn’t” weigh us down.
Now that’s truly zen at work. Just something to think about. 🙂
[Post updated in 2020]
About the author…
Ronnie Ann, founder of Work To the Wise and Work Coach Cafe, bases her real-world advice on her many years as an organizational consultant where she helped interview and hire people, added to a certificate from NYU in Career Planning & Development, as well as her many adventures as a serial job seeker.
Hi GRM!
It’s not at all strange for them not to reply. Some of it may be bad manners. But some is about the very careful legal advice companies get about how to communicate with candidates. Often safer and easier not to reply.
I’ve personally gotten replies and not gotten them. And when I was in the interviewer role, I always replied – even just ‘thank you”; but I’ve worked with people who didn’t. And it had nothing to do with whether they were going to call the person back.
So good luck with this job. Hope it comes through.
All that said, I appreciated reading your thoughts. thank you for sharing them with us. One thing really stood out for me:
“A lot of my frustration is beating myself up for mistakes. ”
Oh GRM! More important than any degree is learning not to look back at the past and regret. beating yourself up is wasted effort. In fact, giving up your anger at yourself might free up enough energy to try to finish that degree after all! 😉
By the way…a degree is not everything. I believe Bill Gates, for instance, never finished college. He seems to have done ok. 🙂
But I do know that certain jobs require degrees, especially if you want to move ahead. And if this is still something you want, maybe once you get yourself that job-job, you can try again. Very few of us enjoy the process of working and going to school, but I did it and I assure you I’m basically lazy. I just set my sights on the goal and went one step at a time.
It’s not too late. And some schools even help you by offering credit for life experiences. Maybe you have less credits to make up than you think! And since you don’t live in a big city, maybe the more affordable state colleges have online programs? One first step could be to contact them. (If there is a college near you, that’s also a great place to apply for a job; they often offer free tuition as a benefit!)
And just so you know, to your family you may you have “underachiever” stamped on your forehead and to mine I have “non-traditional maverick”. But a little self-esteem wipes that right off!
Look at yourself for the individual that you are. We need more people who aren’t afraid to look at life differently. I have a feeling you have some truly wonderful qualities. Try focusing on them from this day forward instead of what you haven’t yet achieved. You’ll even interview more confidently if you do that.
You could also set some short term goals for yourself – and maybe a few longer-term ones, and then keep going until you can check each one off the page!
You’ve learned important things from the different path you’ve followed (empathy for others is probably one of them since you recognize it), and now you can take them and apply them to the rest of your life. Don’t look back, GRM. There’s a whole interesting world ahead.
I wish you luck getting the pieces, one after another, to fall into place. They don’t all happen at once. And I know it’s really hard when you’re on your own. But if you start now, you’ll be amazed where you get to a year from now.
All my best! And please feel free to use this as a place to record each step accomplished. We’re rooting for you! And if family doesn’t get you (how many of us are in that situation!), start to bring positive people into your life that will.
Ronnie Ann
Forgot to ask: I sent thank you letters by email to the three people who interviewed me. Each one was uniquely worded. Is it normal to not get a reply, even a thank you? I suppose if I had sent letters through the mail I would not get a reply. I’m just wondering if anyone has ever received an email reply in this regard.