I Can’t Stand Working!

Don’t worry. This is a safe space. So if you can’t stand working, I’m not going to be sarcastic. Or tell you that you’re the problem and need to grow up … and get serious. But I will tell you that not everyone gets to the right job right away. And for some of us, not until you’ve tried lots of wrong ones. And I say that from personal experience.

Unlike people who find jobs they like right away, I spent many years of my own career life feeling frustrated by jobs that just didn’t fit. And I couldn’t always figure out exactly why. They sounded good on paper. And in my head.  But I just knew that there was no way I wanted to do the job for very long.

Would there ever be work that I truly enjoyed … or at least work I could stand for longer than a year or two? The answer is yes. But it took a lot of jobs and some focused thinking before I started to understand what worked for me — and why I kept aiming myself in the wrong direction.

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Reasons people can’t stand working

Is it the job you can’t stand? Or simply the idea of working at all … including what working requires of us on a daily basis. What if your job actually let you do all your favorite things and still paid you well. Would anything change for you about wanting to go to work if that were true?

The answer probably depends on the real reasons that you don’t like working. And whether those reasons wouldn’t feel as big and off-putting if the job itself were enjoyable in other ways.

So before we dig deeper into that last thought, let’s look at some of the most common reasons people can’t stand working:

• They hate getting up so early.
• The commute is too long or difficult.
• Their co-workers annoy them.
• Work environment is unpleasant or worse.
• They hate working at a desk or being so confined.
• The boss is awful for any number of reasons.
• Their job is boring … and day-after-day mind numbing.
• They’d rather be doing something they enjoy — or just hanging out with nothing expected of them.
• They hate working for someone else.
• The money is so little it feels like a waste of their time.
• Most work feels stupid with nothing better to hope for.

That may or may not have covered how you feel about work. And I’m guessing you can add to the list!

Can things ever change for you?

When we’re stuck in jobs we can’t stand and see no way out, things can begin to look pretty bleak. I honestly thought I’d never find work I like. And the whole working thing became something I had to work hard at just to find pleasure in my days.

Not that there weren’t bright spots in my work day. Things I was proud of accomplishing. Nice people who brightened my day — and I hope vice versa. But when you can’t stand working, those high points can get clouded over.

The thing that kept nagging at me was that others seemed happy at work.  I had friends who loved their jobs. And talked about them in a way that showed me they felt good about their career even when stuff at work went sour. Why not me?

I decided something had to change. So over time, I started looking at my job & career choices more closely, paying attention to the aspects of each job that I enjoyed the most. And I worked to expand those responsibilities where possible.

I also did some work on my own attitude and the things I let get bigger (in my head) than they really were. Also the ways I handled things. I learned to turn down jobs or assignments (when possible) that had too much of what I didn’t enjoy. Even if they paid well. (That was hard.)

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Finally a job I can stand!

One of the things I like to tell clients (largely from my own hard-won experience), is sometimes you need to follow barely-lit paths that call to you even if the money is less. Or ones that at least have more of what you enjoy doing, even if not perfect.

By breaking out of old patterns of what “feels right” you start to see new things you might actually enjoy. And you find ways to get your hands into new skills. Things that you wouldn’t mind waking up to do — especially if they paid you.

And slowly you learn from all that. Even if you are still in the wrong job. Step by step you start moving toward salaried work (or even your own business) that feels like it matches who you are. At last. In my case it was a consulting business, using my favorite skills from over the years to help others.

Tools that may help you

The most important and powerful tool if you can’t stand working is — and I know this may sound corny — belief in yourself. To take on real, lasting change you need to tell yourself “I can find work I enjoy.”

And you need to start (now maybe) by taking at least one step toward something you would actually enjoy doing. Even if at first there’s no money from it. And you need to give yourself permission to keep going. And watch for helpers along the way!

When on a path that truly matters to you,

you meet people who want to help

and find doors that will open!

A few more things to get that change engine revved up:

• Start researching things you would enjoy online.
• Join a club or online group on the topic.
• Take a class or two if you need the skills. The effort and time are worth it if it means you eventually get unstuck.
• Start talking about it to others. And don’t be ashamed to let people know you have a dream — even if they make fun of it. It’s your dream!
• Networking is key. And good contacts can be found almost anywhere — people you’ve known, people you know now, and people you meet.
• The best networking is a 2-way street. How can you help them? Over time, relationships build and favors get returned.
• Volunteering or hourly work — even an hour or two a week — can teach you skills and open up possibilities. And not just non-profits. Maybe a local business you care about.
• Get a certificate if that’s what you need. (I did that for career coaching.)

And most important of all

Don’t give up! And don’t focus on what doesn’t work. Shake that off. Find the nuggets of gold that come with each effort that point you in a direction you might actually enjoy!

More posts to help

Help! I Want to Return to My Previous Career

Put Small Steps to Work on Big Goals

What’s Stopping You from Leaving a Bad Job?

No Time or Money To Improve Skills or Volunteer!

12 Key Qualities You Should Look For In a Job

Dreaming of a New Job in “Greener” Pastures

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