Most of us are well aware that AI bots will be doing more and more things that people used to do. But today I was shocked to get my email inquiry concerning a refund answered by a customer service AI bot in about two minutes — and about as well and “caringly” as most human customer service reps can do, at least following their current guidelines.

That’s the truth. And also the scary part. Customer service reps often pull their responses from pre-written scripts without much leeway. And so training an AI bot to look up and access those same scripts does not take much of a leap. They may even be given more leeway to interact using a warmer tone to help overcome AI fears. Here’s how this particular bot added a “human” touch with me:

Actual Bot Email Sign-off

[Read more…]

I don’t think I ever truly loved a job (maybe certain aspects) until later on in my career. And even then, the love only came when I started to work for myself. It’s hard to know what a job is — or even who you are yet in the work world — until you try things on for size. And I did a LOT of that!

Oh I know there are people who love their jobs who somehow seem to have found the right spot on day one. But some of them actually landed first and then made the job — and where it led them to — work for them. Many times, jobs can change shape (morph) depending on what you do with them.

Now I know not every job can magically turn into a dream job. And not everyone who wants to [Read more…]

The words “new job new life” often go together. At least in our heads, as we contemplate landing in a much better situation. Ideally, job search also goes hand-in-hand with some degree of hope to get us through the often grueling process.

But the new job also has one thing in common with all your other jobs … and that’s you. And so what you bring to the new job (and what you leave behind) will determine if you’ve truly created a new life for yourself — or just another version of the old life with new surroundings.

Let me explain what I mean by all that. And what you can do to help yourself shake off those parts you want to leave behind.

When a new job is not a new life

You’ve probably heard the phrase “wherever you go there you are”. And, without a doubt, that’s absolutely true when it comes to starting a new job. However wonderful the job seems — and as perfect as it feels to you — you’re still bringing your history and your personal baggage with  you.

And you very well may be bringing personal flaws and workplace behaviors that you never took the time to evaluate and work on. While it seems reasonable to think you’ll fix things when you have a better job, for the most part it’s best to start working on yourself before you try to start fresh.

Not that previous jobs didn’t have real flaws that made it hard for you to thrive in those workplaces. But it’s important to look at what we can change in ourselves. Every workplace — even dream jobs — have difficult situations and annoying people. The more you’ve worked on your own reactions and attitudes, the better chance you have of creating that truly new work life.

Wherever you go there you are

Most of all, the phrase reminds us that you can’t escape yourself. Your thoughts, feelings, and even internal struggles follow you. So simply changing your location won’t fix deep-seated issues. Or break old habits that get in your way of moving past workplace challenges to focus on your job and build good workplace relationships. It can’t always be THEM.

So as you’re getting yourself to that new life, you can benefit from efforts to affect personal growth, including honest evaluation of what you might have done better in the past. And how you might face similar situations in the future with a new approach. YOU are the one constant in your life, and true change comes from within, not from external circumstances.

How to get to that new life

Please know that getting “new job, new life” to come true is very possible. I hope nothing I said discourages you. It just doesn’t happen on its own. So here are some posts to help you better understand and change what you can in yourself, leave old behaviors and habits behind, and truly start fresh!

How Changing Your Attitude Can Change Your Job!

Emotional Triggers in the Workplace

But Change Is Really Really Hard!

How To Change Your Job Without Quitting

Emotional Boxes: Stuffing Your Feelings at Work

Fed Up With All the Things My Job Doesn’t Have!

Are You Always Feeling Angry At Work?

When Emotions Take Over In the Workplace

Do You Feel Like an Outsider at Work?

Time for a Fresh Start! (You Can’t Undo Past Mistakes)

Workplace Solutions: The Whole vs The Parts

Why Do I Always Have Bad Luck in Jobs?

Dealing With Inner Conflict at Work

Letting Hurtful Things Take Control at Work

Getting Through a Tough Day at Work (While Staying Sane)

Drama at Work: Dealing With Workplace Drama

ALSO:  Dealing With Annoying Coworkers & Bosses

Need more help?

Career coaching with Ronnie Ann

Mistakes. Failures. Regrets. Try as you may, you can’t undo past mistakes — no matter how much you wish you could. And revisiting each and every regret, putting them under a microscope while wishing you could rewrite the past … well, that doesn’t change things either. Except it does take hold of the present as you let your self-reproach fully own the moment.

All too often people get stuck in the past … kicking themselves for all they did wrong. Or all that went wrong. I don’t know anyone who hasn’t had at least something go wrong (not that everyone would admit it), but beating ourselves up for past mistakes is simply wasted energy. Even worse, it keeps us down by reinforcing how incapable and luckless we are.

Why Past Mistakes Take Control

If letting past mistakes run wild in our heads is so essentially useless, why do we do it? The probable answer is that it actually has a purpose. A big one. It stops us. And it helps us feel better about not daring to move ahead — in our careers and in life.

Ways staying stuck in the past serves us:

• Failure is frightening and painful. So our brain has the idea based on “evidence” from our past that staying stuck — not taking chances — will help protect us.
• If we do fail, then we have all those past missteps to look back on and prove that we were right not to even try. Odd as this may seem, they serve as comforting arms for us to fall back into.
• You may have messages from childhood that questioned your ability to take on difficult things or made you feel like you weren’t as capable as other people. Or even your siblings. You can dial up those implanted messages to keep you from stepping out of your comfort zone.
• If you don’t try, you can’t fail. Or so your brain might be telling you. But if you don’t allow yourself to “be all you can be” then isn’t that failure too? Just harder to recognize.
• Believing in yourself is scary. Especially when you’re looking to take on something new you’re being offered or something you always wanted to try. Letting past mistakes override your dreams numbs the call. And that makes it easier to do nothing.

NOTE: If self-belief is an issue, hopefully this post can help — or at least get you started: Permission To Believe In Yourself!

So how do you get unstuck?

A good beginning is to become aware of the mind games (your own) — and what they are doing to you. Although they may be stored in your brain as “truth” they are just experiences along with conclusions you’ve formed. That doesn’t mean they are true NOW. Or even relevant.

Another important step is to make friends with failure. Are you looking at those words and thing “she’s crazy!” A therapist friend of mine once told me that the best way to deal with anxiety is to make friends with it. “Welcome it in,” she said. “When you stop fearing it, it loses its power over you.”

Australian psychiatrist Dr. Claire Weekes had a similar prescription for anxiety. Her four-step method was basically: (1) face it head on; (2) accept that the feeling is real; (3) let yourself float above it, and (4) let time pass. I’ve used that method myself, and after just a bit of practice it has worked wonders.

So why am I talking about anxiety?

Because staying stuck in the past and letting it keep you from growing is in essence an outgrowth of anxiety. And a very real fear of failure. And by learning to become aware when those “chains of the past” grab hold and then just stay present with the feeling — rather than letting it take charge — you can begin to envision and move toward a different future.

Instead of bracing against the pain and sadness of your past — and the potential of unbearable feelings that might come with any future mistakes — you can start to say “what if?” What if I try? What it I dare to welcome failure as a positive move forward that can bring me a new beginning and not an end?

Countless successful people stand on their many failures. The only difference is that they took failure as a necessary step to achieve their dreams. Were they scared at times? Anxious even? Of course they were. But they believed enough in themselves to shake it off, learn from it, and move forward.

SECRET TIP: Well, maybe not quite so secret. But taking on smaller chunks of whatever it is you want to accomplish will give you small wins. And each win forms a new foundation of a more recent past. That’s what successful people manage to do.

More posts to help

Please Don’t Let Failures Stop You!

Are “Obstacle Illusions” Keeping You From a Better Job?

I Can’t Stop Feeling Like a Failure

Is Job Search Fear Stopping You From Even Looking?

5 Things I Learned About Fear of Success

Daring To Imagine a Different Life!

5 Workplace Fears That Limit Your Success

Career Change Fear: How To Move Past the Fear

Career Goals: Put Small Steps to Work on Big Goals!

When making new year’s resolutions (essentially wishes for something better in your life) we often keep them private. Sharing them with people who know you can feel like pressure and come back to haunt you if you fall short. I totally get that!

But there is also a power — and self-affirmation — in sharing your goals and hopes “out loud”. And one way to do it might be right here online in a comment below where you can do it anonymously if you prefer. (Real email address never published.)

Some career resolution topics

Just to get your New Year’s wish juices flowing, here are some possible career-advancing goals you might add to your list:

• Asking for a raise
• Finding a new job
• Learning new skills
• Starting a small business in your spare time
• Finding networking contacts at work or beyond
• Building a better relationship with boss or coworkers
• Taking on more responsibilities at work
• Diving into something you love in your spare time
• Researching career areas you’ve always been interested in
• Scheduling informational interviews for career exploration or finding a mentor
• Joining organizations related to fields you enjoy
• Finding ways to make your present job better for you

What are your new year’s resolutions?

Feel free to add your career wishes below in a comment. Think of it as bringing them from mere pleasant thoughts into a more “solidified” vision. The more they feel real, the more you have a chance of following through and making them come true.

But whether on your private list or shared here with us, take it to the max and make your resolutions as thorough and fully fleshed out as possible. And feel free to return here to let us know how it’s going … and for extra encouragement if needed!

ONE MORE TIP:  When you’re finally ready to get started on your career resolution, just go for it — without self doubts or talking yourself out of it. Keep reminding yourself that you deserve more and somehow you WILL find a way!

Happy new year!!

—————–

More posts to help

Career Growth Tips

Personal Growth & Development

Change at Work

Networking Tips

I have to admit I’ve been to my share of office Christmas parties where I let my naughtier side out a wee bit. Especially in one or two of my earlier jobs. Nothing too awful. Just a bit of flirtation here and there. And perhaps a little too much to drink when among coworkers and bosses.

Still, I never got so out of control I had to hide my head in shame back at the office. Maybe a blush-faced smile the next day as someone reminded me of something I said to them. Or that I had spoken too long and laughed too much with a married coworker while his wife was standing right there,

Luckily I wised up about office parties of any kind. While it feels good to let loose a little and hang out with coworkers in a non-office setting, you are always viewed with “office eyes”. And that’s something you should never forget!

So just skip office Christmas parties?

[Read more…]

It’s true. There really is a way to make a living as a white hat hacker (also known as an ethical hacker). Although when we think of hacker we usually associate it with the dark side, there are now legitimate and well-paid career paths for hackers.

And the need is growing as cybersecurity threats also continue to grow and intensify. So where do you find opportunities? And exactly what qualifications do you need to make a real live career of this for yourself?

What you need to make a living as a hacker

As companies and governments find the need for internal & product cybersecurity ever more essential, the demand for professionals who can legally find, fix, and hopefully prevent vulnerabilities also grows. And the icing on the cake is that these jobs pay really well!

So what qualifies you for the work?

[Read more…]

University of Phoenix degrees can cost over $10,000 a year. And they have many different degree programs you can enroll in — with pretty much anyone with a high school diploma, GED, or equivalent accepted. From their website:

• • No application fee — apply for free
  • No essay needed
  • No SAT, ACT, GMAT or GRE required

But do employers take a degree from University of Phoenix seriously? Does it have any value for the considerable amount of money you spend on a diploma from them? [Read more…]

Some of you are lucky enough to land in your ideal career early on. But for others it can take a while to finally find your career. And meanwhile there’s often a lot of pushback — and judgment — from people you know.

Family and even close friends may see you as a failure, whether they actually voice their thoughts out loud to you or not. And more importantly, after landing in the wrong career more than once you may begin to see yourself as a failure. “Why can’t I make this work for me?”

But there’s also the pushback you get from prospective employers. “Why so many jobs?” “What about THIS job will make you want to stay?” And the truth is you may not even know the real answer for you, although of course you come up with one for the interview.

⇒  Why Do You Want THIS Job? (Make Sure You Know)

About finding your ideal career

We’re often pressured even before we graduate to figure out where we belong in life. Choose a major. Figure out what courses to take. Focus on building some skills. Hunt for that first job that you hope will work out.

But it can take a while (and some exploring) before we even grow into who we really are. So whatever your guess now [Read more…]

So you may not have landed in your dream job. And for any number of reasons you can’t simply bail right now. But can you still find meaning if your job feels stupid … at least to you? And why do your coworkers seem content enough with the same work you find so brainless?

Work is a funny thing. Rarely does anyone feel their job is perfect. So, consciously or not, each person does their own version of cost benefit analysis. Is it worth putting up with the imperfections for what this job gives you that you need for yourself or family?

Job feels stupid? Maybe look again.

Maybe the job that feels mindless to you is serving food to customers in a restaurant. Or handing out plastic numbers to customers in a fitting room. Perhaps your work is cleaning bathrooms. Or helping start a new agency to help homeless people but you can’t get the bureaucracy to change.

I’ve done all those jobs. [Read more…]